


Purgatory

by tairenar



Category: Inazuma Eleven
Genre: Brainwashing, Dark Emperors, Enemies to Friends, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Memory Alteration, Pain, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tairenar/pseuds/tairenar
Summary: What they had to sacrifice in return for eternal power.
Relationships: maybe adding soon i dunno
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	1. Apprehension

**[Laughter]**

_"Oi, oi! You're not giving up now, aren't you Endou! I'm brimming with energy just to fucking take you down!"_

His silhouette was dark, demonic. His floating locks and slim figure almost made him incubus-like. He was anything but sane, anything but what my best friend was.

I took another hit, but caught the soccer ball again. And again. And again. And again.

It was horrible to see my dearest friends turn to me like this. Was this all wilfully? Were they brainwashed or forced? Abused even? The possible scenarios of what could've happened made my head spin like crazy. I just wanted them to come back. I wanted to practice with Someoka, play games with Matsuno and Handa..

and laugh with Kazemaru again.

_"Kazemaru.. Please. Stop this. Stop this now! Who have you become? What have you and the others turned into?! You guys are nothing but braindead zombies!"_

_"Braindead zombies?! We are the almighty Dark Emperors, the world is nothing but a place filled with misery and self-absorbed people. You left us for dead, Endou! All of you did! We want revenge for abandoning us and leaving us to rot in the hospital!"_ , Kazemaru practically roared in anger. The other members either laughed, or roared along. This unknown anger had been boiling inside them for ages. Have they been thinking this all along...? 

Have we been this... bad of a friend to them?

 _"This isn't true. You guys don't even remember playing against Zeus or Teikoku with us.. How can you even say such things.."_ , a fallen figure muttered, although loud enough to be heard. Gouenji was bruised, beaten up and his nose was covered in dried up blood. 

_"Stay down, blondie. We're gonna talk about you later. How about you watch your dear Captain get beaten the fuck up?"_ , Handa whispered to the Flame Striker as he grabbed him by the hair to jank up his head. Gouenji scrunched up his nose and spit at the brunette's feet, only to get pushed back to the ground as a punishment.

_"You're a pain in the ass, you know? Stop acting so tough, or we'll make you."_

"Tsk.."

 _"Gouenji..."_ , Fubuki trembled as his legs refused to be able to hold him up. He felt like passing out right then and there. _'Is this what Raimon has come to? Is this the end?'_ , he thought to himself as tears started forming in his eyes.

 _"Kazemaru... haven't you realized what Endou has gone through when you were beaten up and taken away? He cried.. I cried. We all did. We all.. missed you..."_ , Fubuki managed to whimper, before closing his eyes.

The hits halted. A soft breeze hit my body.

I opened my eyes as I kept my body from crashing down, by planting my fists on the soil. I looked up to an expressionless Kazemaru, but I couldn't read his face.

_For the first time, I wasn't able to guess what my best friend was thinking._

_Did Fubuki touch his heart? Couldn't he witness Gouenji or me being hurt anymore? Was it.. Guilt?_

He was awfully silent. I hated it, but it gave me an opportunity. I slowly got up, although I felt my bones piercing my muscles. I felt like I was in hell, but Kazemaru was in a much worse position. He was being brainwashed and used as a puppet. I could see the strings glowing around their torso and limbs.

_It was unbearable to witness._

He did not move an inch. He kept still, one foot on the soccer ball, his arms relaxed against his sides. His face hidden, facing down.

His shoulder was cold and boney. He has lost weight. He looks bird-like, just like the rest of his team. I finally got to see him up close, and it was easy to see that he looked tortured. Upon closer inspection, I saw his face. I couldn't see anything but little shimmers of diamonds.

I didn't see any guilt or remorse in his eyes. All I saw, were those maroon cat-like eyes. They almost looked like fish eyes... Dead.

Dead. There was no more shimmer in them. Not a single trace of the blue-haired boy I adored and held so close to my heart. My smile turned sour, as Kazemaru finally looked up.

The only thing left of him, was his body. I was left speechless. I secretly didn't want to know if the others had witnessed the same fate.

Kazemaru was in absolute tears. They never stopped rolling down his pale, hollow face.

_"Captain.."_

_"C-Captain?!"_

_"Kazemaru!"_

The other Dark Emperors noticed the distress in their leader and plastered an expression of surprise on their faces. Some worried, others confused.

Kurimatsu and Matsuno ran up to us from behind, only to be met with a glare from yours truly. I wanted Kazemaru to look at me, and only at me. I wanted him to remember, I wanted everyone to remember their friendship with Raimon. 

I wanted to embrace him, but I didn't get the chance. Kazemaru's owns arms slowly wrapped themselves around my torso as I was scaring away the two midfielders from him, without me noticing anything.

_"Endou. Please, stop doing this to me."_

That's when I realized. His frustration, anger, was a mask for his sadness and jealousy. Was everyone like this? What was there to be sad about? What did we do? It was best to ask, just like I always did when one of us was sad.

 _"Tell me what happened? Why the frowny face?"_ , I softly asked as I hugged him back, slowly rubbing his shoulders. I could feel his spine...

_"... I don't know. I can't remember."_

I kept silent. It was obvious that they only remembered a few things back when they were members of Raimon. But, they almost seemed twisted. As if their memories were edited. Kinda like... cyborgs...

_"Kazemaru. We never left you. Remember our talk? With the stars? Training to fight against Aliea? Eating barbecue and making friends along the way?"_

_C'mon. He had to remember. There was no other choice._

_"I told you... I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER!"_

The warmth was gone. He pushed me away and I fell back. What a power..

_"How many times will I have to tell you until it gets through that thick skull of yours?! I can't remember anything you tell me! Stop fucking hurting me by shoving that fact in my face! I don't know anything except your name and face, Endou Mamoru! All I know is that I want to destroy you until you turn to dust from this earth! WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS! YOU HEAR ME?!"_

_... What?_

The sound of something clattering on the ground distracting everyone from Kazemaru's tantrum.

It was the crystal. The Aliea crystal. The purple hue was gone and had turned to a dull grey. Its power was lost, and Kazemaru started to sweat.

_"W-What the hell..?"_

We both needed a second. Everyone needed some time to process what actually had happened. After that time, I started to smile. I couldn't leave that huge grin from my face.

Kazemaru on the other hand, started to tremble. He looked at his shattered crystal with pure fear in his face. His power was gone, and he locked up.

_Cling!_

_Clang!_

_Crack!_

Like a domino effect, the crystals of the other members shattered as well. As their leader had fallen, so did the rest of the cult.

Kazemaru and his team members slowly took steps back in disbelief, as everything was overstimulating their poor minds. It was all too much to handle. They got driven to the centre of the field, while Raimon started standing up.

Fubuki and Kidou had regained consciousness halfway through, Tsunami and Gouenji approached them as they held their arms, and Domon and Ichinose whimpered while managing their way to the centre as well. Touko, Kogure and Kabeyama kept drying up their tears from pain, but most of all, relief and joy. Rika, Megane and Tachimukai returned to the field to support their friends and help them with the cattle control.

Endou stood up again and confronted his blue-haired friend once again. Kazemaru was yet again, facing the floor, but he was frustrated. He was clenching his fist, trembling from pure stress. Only Kazemaru was left to be brought to the centre, but he stood firm in place. I held out my hand to him.

_"Hey. Feeling better?"_

I knew it was him. He must've returned to normal. His hair was slowly sinking down, and the creepy cat-like pupil was gone. This reaction was purely instinctive.

I wish it was only that easy.

_Kazemaru started screaming, and began pulling at his beautiful teal locks. His mind had been swallowed whole by the void far too long ago._

_He had fallen_ _in purgatory, together with his ten other unfortunate comrades._

_Only now did they realize the consequences._


	2. Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His guardian angel

"Ha.... Hnng... "

'Hm? Is that him?', I thought as I opened up one of my eyes. I was resting my head next to his hand, the one with mine clasped around it. I was waiting for him to wake up..

"Fubuki. Visiting hours are almost over.", Tsunami muttered as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I 'on wanna leave.. I'm staying 'ere.", I firmly exclaimed. It seemed to even convince people like Tsunami, as he left me alone afterwards. After a bit of hesitation of course.

"Make sure you just come back, aight?"

"Aye."

The door closed.

As a dull, golden hue glew over his and my face, I kept waiting patiently like a dog. I wanted to be the first he sees, so I can apologize to him. I really liked the lad, eh..

But he luckily woke up. I wasn't getting my hopes up, though. Anything but that.

"... Hrgh.. Ow..", the teal-haired boy exclaimed, as his maroon eyes opened up slowly. He must've felt like arse, the poor thing. I had some food and water prepared beforehand.

"Good evening, Kazemaru.", I calmly spoke. The other boy turned his head to me with an expression of surprise and confusing. He was looking at me, my clothing, my face and our hands holding. I gave him the time he needed.

"Take it easy, lad. Ye've had quite the rough time lately.", I reassured as I handed the glass of water and some Advil to ease any pain he might be experiencing.

Without speaking, Kazemaru took the pain killer and water. I couldn't read anything on that blank canvas of his, how weird. Usually, he's the easiest to read.

"... Thank you.", he formally thanked me as he took a sip from his glass. He started making circles with the water as he kept staring to his glass. He was too modest to make any eye contact, or was it guilt?

"Uhm, Fubuki.. will you please let go?", Kazemaru muttered as he broke me from my examination. Only then did I see the slight blush on his face. 

"Hehe, sorry.", I chuckled as I let go of his hand. He was still as shy and polite as usual. I guess he hadn't become different at all.

The tension returned soon enough though. How unfortunate..

"So, tell me. How you feelin'? What's the frown on that pretty lil' face of yers?", I sat back in my chair and let my hands rest on my stomach. I didn't move away my gaze from him one bit.

".... I don't know. My head hurts.", he shrugged as he emptied his glass. I sadly expected such an answer.

"Well, listen, Kaze-ku-- Kazemaru."

Dang, almost forgot. He doesn't remember that nickname.

"During our match, you and a few other Dark Emperors got a sudden case of extreme situational stress, and burnt out on the field. You started hyperventilating, fainted and fell on the floor.", I whispered. I didn't wanna make it sound too bad to Kazemaru.

It felt like he was somewhere else with his gaze, but he was fully aware of everything around him. Kazemaru nodded and finally faced me. He seemed to have calmed down..

"Who else is in the hospital?", he asked. Showing worry for his teammates, that means some Raimon members are still his friends?

"I believe Someoka, Yamino and Matsuno. The others seemed just fine, although still confused.", I was the one to look at the floor this time.

"I wanna see them."

I jolted my face up. "Oh no, you gotta stay here. Yer blood pressure has been low constantly, yer nerves and body have never been this physically exhausted before. That crystal did some nasty stuff to ya'!", I spit out in a second. It seemed to scare Kazemaru a bit.

".. Really? I don't.. feel anything bad. Only a little headache.", He looked at his hands and legs, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. His skinny legs were dangling like doll legs, with unknown bruises, maybe from the training he went through..

"I 'on recommend moving much, you seriously need physiotherapy lil' lad.", I stood up from my chair and in front of the blue-haired boy. Holding myself under his arms, we gently lifted his body from the bed and on the floor.

"Y-You're overexaggerating, Fubuki. I'm fine!"

"That's what you said last time, before leavin' us for that damn stone.", I thought out loud.

"Eh?"

"Ah uh, sorry. I didn't say nuthin'."

We tried together. It seemed to go well, although Kazemaru's muscles felt stiff. They have to be incredibly sore. It worked, but he wasn't as stable as he remembered being.

A small wobble and Fubuki had to catch Kazemaru in his arms.

"Told ya. Now be a good lil' boy and stay in bed, will ya?"

"Yeah, yeah.. You're right.. Gee. How disappointing.", Kazemaru rubbed his neck after sitting on his bed again.

He seemed, a lot less.. uh.. evil. Quite calm, even a little bit like himself. The self me and Raimon knew.

Another string of silence. The sun hadn't set yet, as if time didn't exist anymore on this summer evening. We both faced the big windows in his hospital rooms, being met with the sight of a sinking sun. It was refreshing, calming. The sun melting into the horizon, took your worries with it. The night was not worth worrying over anything. You only had to face your problems when the day arrived again, with new energy and motivation. Kazemaru seemed to feel that way too.

"Hey," we both asked at the same time. A few blinks of surprise and a little chuckle from the both of us after, I let him ask first.

"What's up with you guys? Taking care of us like that? We wanted to beat you up and destroy you..", the speedy defender (or forward in this case..?) spoke with worry in his voice. I had to think about it a little bit.

"Well, 'cause yer our friends. It's that easy."

"But, we've never been friends. Nowhere close. Our only encounter was at the soccer field at Raimon."

"No, Kazemaru. Listen 'ere. It's gonna hurt, but it will relief yer soul too.. "

I closed my eyes to really reflect on my decision, only to conclude it was the right one.

"Kazemaru,", I called him as I stood up to sit next to him on his bed. We both faced each other, legs crossed. I started holding his hands again, hopefully to make him feel comfortable.

"You've always been me friend. All of Raimon's, too. Everyone in the team are people we love and adore. We've seriously been friends for months, you've been friends with Endou for years. It's just awful to say this, y'know? But, ya really seem to have somethin' real knocked up there. That damned crystal burnt away all yer precious memories like fuel.."

I bit my lip as Kazemaru processed my explanation. It was miserable to look at him struggle like that. Sometimes, a lock or two would start floating and sinking. His pupil would turn into that terrifying slit again. It was almost like a possession he was trying to resist. That crystal stained to his poor mind and body like Indonesian ink.. Impossible to remove.

I was met with a tender, gentle hug from Kazemaru. Something I didn't really expect to be honest. 

"Fubuki, I'm so sorry. During that match, I wanted to stop being angry. I didn't want revenge anymore, because I couldn't remember anything. They told me because you left me, but I didn't know. I couldn't tell myself! I-I.. I just.. stopped caring. I wanted to be left alone, but Raimon kept haunting me because they said they "cared" about me. I didn't understand, because I have never known you! Maybe I have, but forgetting it is so painful.."

In between all his words, hiccups, sobs were clearly breaking through, meddling with his train of thought and state of mind. Emotions were protecting him in this fog of amnesia and torture. Tears never stopped streaming, I could feel the crook of my neck dampen with the teal boy's tears of misery.

I was embracing him myself, rubbing his back. I slowly worked up to the back of his head, and Kazemaru started relaxing his head as all the cries and sobs emptied themselves out of my dear friend.

"Don't worry. It's too soon to think about that. For now, how 'bout we get some good food? We needa start getting some meat on yer bones again."

"... Yeah..", Kazemaru sniffed as he wiped his tears away. There was no use thinking about future problems. Right now, he had to get back those healthy legs and arms he always had. He had to start moving well again, become flexible in both body and mind.

He isn't alone, I am here for him. Raimon has never left you, Kazemaru.

I wiped away his tears, although I tried my best to hold back mine. It was excrutiatingly painful to see one of my closest buddies not being able to think of anything when they see me. We played in the snow, trained, cooked together and always slept in the same room. We were inseperable.

I will get us back together again.

You will remember our name, Kazemaru Ichirouta. There's nothing to be scared of anymore, because your identity and print on this world has never faded away. It's been waiting for you all this time.

Your misery has already ended, we just have to heal from this wound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fubukaze cute <3  
> i always see fubu as such a loving and loyal person  
> also yeah im spoiling kaze whatchu want


	3. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of fluff in the hospital. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/god7hAPv8f0
> 
> ^ here's a bit of the vibe for this chapter

[The sound of music and laughter resonated through hospital room number 5E.]

"Physiotherapy has done wonders to them, hasn't it?", Kidou asked as he joyfully clapped along. Even someone as composed as him, showed emotions of pure ecstasy and relief. I watched as his dreadlocks bob along with his head.

Kidou, Fubuki and Gouenji always stayed with us until late in the evening. Mr. Hibiki and the doctors only allowed them to stay and even sleep over. The others were busy training as always, but only these three had Hibiki's trust. They were independent enough to train themselves and stay with us.

"Hey, ho! Watch 'em go! Hey, ho! watch 'em go!", Matsuno chanted as he spun around Yamino during their cheerful waltz. Someoka held me under my shoulder and by the hand. I wasn't as stable as the others, but my Dragon Striker had recovered the fastest compared to everyone. Matsuno and Yamino were as lively as they used to be, although my Shadow Striker needed his crutches for 2 more weeks.

Gouenji and Kidou were sitting down and enjoying the atmosphere, while Fubuki clapped and twirled along on his own. The silver-haired boy brought along a few of his favorite CDs and a CD-player to hopefully bring some life to his hospitalized friends. It had already been 2 weeks and they sure were bored the crap out of their minds.

The best thing is, they have calmed down. As the reality of their situation had sunken in, for all Dark Emperors and Raimon members, the best thing was to start anew. Maybe there was a way to regain back their old memories. Until then, they had to believe the word of their old friends and listen to the countless stories everyone had to tell about them. The eleven boys would join together to watch themselves run around on television and play matches. It was almost unreal.

_A fucked up kinda Truman show._

But now, they didn't wanna worry about anything. Not on short-lived moments like these. These times were when they bloomed and opened their hearts and personalities like sunflowers, not caring about what their Raimon friends used to think of them. They couldn't remember anyway.

They only had each other. Kazemaru, Someoka, Matsuno, Handa, Yamino, Shourinji, Jin, Nishigaki, Kurimatsu, Sugimori and Shishido, this group only got to build a bond with one another, and no one else. For now.

Bit by bit, they will discover their past and actually believe it had happened. But it's not good to be lurking in the past for too long, especially when the present times are as sweet as syrup. Short-lived moments like these, where you don't have to think about anything in the world.

A time where Yamino isn't so gloomy and lonely, or where Someoka isn't brash and intimidating. They let their guards down and open their hearts up to the gleeful song theyre dancing on. I've never seen them laugh so genuinely. So carefree.

I was just as happy and joyful, although my legs started giving in. I dropped myself against his chest and tugged on his hospital uniform, to which he immediately responds. Gouenji and Fubuki snapped out of their trance and helped me on one of the chairs against the wall.

"Huh, even in such a state, you danced without a care in the world?", Kidou chuckled as he performed a check-up on my joints. He wasn't wearing his cape, and his goggles were on top of his head. It felt off to me. Crimson red eyes, quite feline-like.

He was a little goofy-looking with the gear, but undoubtedly intelligent and handsome.

In the meantime, Yamino and Matsuno got some drinks and food for us. Hospital food..

"It's not the best.. but we tried to snatch what we could get..", Yamino muttered. He held a plate with sandwiches, while Matsuno held a can of fruit juice and a fruit basket.

"Time for a midnight snaaack~!", Matsuno chimed as he put the food on the table in front of my window. 

"Midnight?", I asked before turning my head to Gouenji's watch.

00:58 AM. Christ.

"What are you guys gonna do?", Yamino asked as he offered everyone a sandwich. Mine had salmon in it. Quite good..

"Hmm.. I don't mind staying here. I've been here for a few days already.", Fubuki pondered as he slightly swayed his feet back and forth. The others shrugged too, not worried about tomorrow. It seemed they were having a good time as well.

A bit later, I found myself sitting on the edge of my hospital bed. Gouenji sat next to me and had his arm thrown over my shoulder. It was an odd feeling, maybe even a little intruding.. but I didn't mind in the end. He was warm, so I gave in and leant back on his shoulder.

Fubuki continued dancing with Someoka on some more disco, although a little softer this time. Matsuno and Yamino had returned to their rooms. I got a message on my phone, it was Endou.

"heya Kaze!! i hope ya aight?? maybe this will cheer ya up a lil :P"

What a silly text. Has he always been that close to me? Gouenji peeked over his shoulder and at my phone.

"What'd he send you?"

24 bright smiles forming hearts and holding a big poster saying "Get well soon!".

Gouenji chuckled as I held my hand on my mouth, speechless from it all. Kidou and Fubuki had noticed and smiled as well. I started texting back with tears staining my pants and ugly sniffs coming from none other than yours truly. When I had hit "Send", Fubuki gave me a little peck on the forehead.

"Get well soon Kazemaru. We love ya'."

**Author's Note:**

> fluff fluff angst angst fluff fluff  
> what will my at 2 am awoken mind bring me next chapter


End file.
